Ready

IMG_20141006_133538724

I am ready. Powerful words offering the driving force to keep moving—a simple phrase that becomes an impetus. You’re made of energy, so use it. Keep going. I am ready. Say this to yourself, in whatever situations whenever you think you should. As long as you’re ready, remind yourself; and then do whatever it is you’re ready for.

When explaining to a relative how I’m happy to be closer to certain plans I’ve been working on for a while now, finally able to see them coming into being, I mentioned that I really waited longer than I had expected and sometimes wish I’d gotten everything, all of the school and certifications and tiny details, into place sooner. “Maybe you weren’t ready,” she told me, matter-of-fact and insightful as always. And in many ways, I really hadn’t been.

It’s not that I would necessarily have been less competent as a mental health practitioner and spiritual and holistic guide ten years ago, seven, five, as opposed to now, but the skills and traits I’ll be bringing into these roles have only been strengthened over the last several years.

I’m not ready and I’m not sure what I’m doing are also powerful. You don’t usually have to focus on saying them, they’re simply on repeat and it’s easy to assume the role of these mantras when negative issues invade your space. It’s not a sign of weakness, but of the delicate state of being human; we’re sensitive beings and as such we sometimes need to renew our energies, strategies and emotions while making sense of this world. The good thing is, we can all do this. It doesn’t take special instructions. It doesn’t take a particular personality type or social or educational background. We’re all resilient. While resiliency might be harder for some to access than others, it’s still there, a universal aspect to our design. When it’s not strong it just needs some attention to be activated. And it will be, and it will grow and so will you.

Within the last several years, everything that had threatened to break me down—divorce, financial difficulties, professional instability as I tried various paths (I’ve had more jobs in a year than many will have in a lifetime), increasing anxiety and depression here and there—tested me to the point of breakdown, but then shifted and became transcendent experiences. This transformation began involuntarily and it gained strength once I committed to putting conscious, voluntary effort into it. This is resiliency, first a natural instinct that kicks in until we sense it and then that driving force we take charge of, begin directing our decisions by, owning it fully.

This transformation allowed me to restructure myself from physical body to emotional mind to freeflowing spirit. I went through an important holometaboly, as in complete metamorphosis, just like the transformation the caterpillar goes through when it disintegrates inside of the chrysalis, becoming a mixture of old and new cells before taking on its notably different form of butterfly.

For the human, a soulful kind of holometaboly. Certain negative energies and thinking patterns are ready to be outgrown. Instead of staying encased in the negative energy and thinking that hard–obstructive and difficult–chrysalis cracks so you’ll emerge, sturdy and balanced, into a colorfully transmuted form of yourself ready to lift off like some willful winged thing.

Miraculous things happen when we’re feeling ready.

It’s taken awhile to get to these things I’d like to add into my life. It took time and some metaphorical bumps and falls and resulting metaphorical bruises, and resulting hesitancies to leave my physical and emotional comfort zones, but I’m now less than two years away from being licensed independently as a mental health counselor and I’ll be a formal Meditation Instructor sooner, something I’ve long wanted to pair with other spiritual practices and trainings. I’ll have my own lovely physical and emotional space where I can put certain skills, practices and ideas to use in ways meaningful to me and positive for others. A few years back all of this seemed too hazy still, potentially only a dream that would prove itself impossible. When I joined the American Counseling Association as a student this summer, I realized how far I’ve come along this path, now moving into something I have true passion for and know I can fulfill. I know this even during those still existent moments of wondering even though I can do this and I’ll be good, will I be good enough? I’m going to shrug at that. Whatever the answer is, I am ready.

Readiness is an experience of transformation, a chance to understand what it is to move from density to lightness, the feeling of floating freely on almost insubstantial yet simultaneously sturdy wings.

Get ready, get set, and now go. ✿

Advertisements